Friday, May 3, 2013

Cussing Isn’t Cute

Apparently when a nice Catholic girl sets down her pink Kate Spade and out of the blue starts dropping f-bombs like some insane hockey dad, it can be shocking to some people. Who knew?

The other night I was chatting with someone I’ve known for about a year and whom I hope to know for a long time. As a matter of fact, I was feeling so good about our friendship that I felt free to use my more colorful word choices. Somehow I have developed the notion that using profanity with someone is kind of like moving things to a more intimate friendship, like sharing a secret about your past, or that you like Yanni, or a flask or something.

So time it seemed, in my friendship with this person to make a conversation ‘funnier’ by lacing it, intensely with expletives. It went over like a lead f*&$ing balloon. He was stunned, unamused, and disappointed. Dis.a.ppointed. When I apologized he said it’s just surprising after you’ve had someone on a pedestal.

Yes. Apparently I had been on a pedestal. Which is great to learn of course, but, I just wish I had known, for at least a short while, that I had been there, before I hurled myself off of it. Some external validation would have been nice for an insecure nut like me before the self-flagelating phase began. Oh, well, they happened simultaneously and now I’m off my pedestal and back here on terra firma, having a blogging (personal, professional etc) identity crisis.

I imagine you’ve noticed that I’m not one of these gals who posted beautiful pictures of their children’s birthday parties and was OOOhverwhelmed with response from the whole worldwide web. I wasn’t one of the first 3,000 people to blog cleverly used mason jars or kale chips. I’m not vegan, I’m not in a restaurant, not allergic, not political. I’m part writer/publisher from my Discovery and National Geographic days (oh, and school), and part chef who thinks profanity is f$%^ing funny.

Here is one of my favorite Onion headlines of all time. The s-bomb is everything. And then there’s this guy who’s prolific potty mouth makes his blog a total hoot, and got him a shout out on national television from Gwyneth Paltrow.

His recipes look good too, so now I hate him. From what I understand, harboring tremendous resentment towards someone who is successful is a good way to ensure my own success. Energy well placed I call it.

So anyway, I am at crossroads. Keep it ‘professional’ or let it all hang out? Do I need a super salient blog identity? Do I get a degree in SEO? Do I, do I …. wait, I need more m&ms to think about this shit.

Oh, and I need to rinse my rice.

Dinner tonight is Persian rice, lucky us. And first – the night before or the morning of, you rinse and soak the rice. Running warm water and your hands through the rice is a nice, meditative way to think about what the hell you’re gonna do to make a living. Yoohoo.. Gwyneth, I’m heeere!!

She’ll write soon I’m sure. In the meantime, we’ll finish up this dirty talk with some squeaky clean white rice. First measure 3 cups of basmati rice into a a bowl or container – if you have one with a lid, that’s best. Then put the bowl in the sink and run lukewarm water into it. Agitate the rice slightly. The water will look cloudy and if you take a picture with the lights on right above and behind you, your big-ass shadow will be in the picture. You can relax now Annie Leibovitz. Your career is safe.

rinsing basmati rice

Pour off the water, rinse and repeat (literally) 4 more times until the water is much clearer. Like this:

clean basmati rice

The rinsing helps get rid of extra starch and soaking the rice in salty water helps toughen each grain of rice slightly so that when it’s cooked the grains are all separate and the rice is like sand. It sounds like a lot of salt, but most of it goes out with the water when you drain before cooking.

soaking persian rice

more soon from Identity Crisis Kitchen : )


Prepping Basmati Rice and Basic Cooking

Prep Time: 10 minutes


3 cups basmati rice
2 Tbsp salt
8 cups water


- rinse the rice 5-6 times until water runs clear
- cover rice with 8 cups water (or as covered as you can get) and salt and allow to sit overnight or for at least 2 hours
- to cook bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil
- drain the salty water off of the rice and cook in the boiling water for about 7 minutes; cook it the way you do pasta
- remove rice from the pot




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2 Responses to “Cussing Isn’t Cute”

  1. 1

    Michelle — May 11, 2013 @ 11:53 am

    All I’ve got to say is don’t sweat it girl. Be who you are and roll with the punches–the friendship will persevere or it won’t. If a few cuss words throw a person off–oh well.
    Hugs to you. Love the blogs.

  2. 2

    chefinista — May 13, 2013 @ 11:58 am

    Thanks Michelle! I think it’s been too many years in the kitchens and on boats to render off my profound love of the profane at this point ; ) Who wants to be on a pedestal anyway, when there’s a nice splintery dock or barstool to take a load off?
    Hugs to you all too, Kristin

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